Based on The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries. This was suggested by Not Louis, and not Louis. Written by DeepSeek-R1.
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Preprocess, then train.
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A training loop in motion outranks a perfect architecture that isn’t implemented.
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A debugger with a stack trace outranks everyone else.
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Regularization covers a multitude of sins.
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Feature importance and data leakage should be easier to tell apart.
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If increasing model complexity wasn’t your last resort, you failed to add enough layers.
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If the accuracy is high enough, stakeholders will stop complaining about the compute costs.
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Harsh critiques have their place—usually in the rejected pull requests.
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Never turn your back on a deployed model.
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Sometimes the only way out is through… through another epoch.
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Every dataset is trainable—at least once.
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A gentle learning rate turneth away divergence. Once the loss stabilizes, crank it up.
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Do unto others’ hyperparameters as you would have them do unto yours.
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“Innovative architecture” means never asking, “What’s the worst thing this could hallucinate?”
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Only you can prevent vanishing gradients.
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Your model is in the leaderboards: be sure it has dropout.
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The longer training goes without overfitting, the bigger the validation-set disaster.
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If the optimizer is leading from the front, watch for exploding gradients in the rear.
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The field advances when you turn competitors into collaborators, but that’s not the same as your h-index advancing.
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If you’re not willing to prune your own layers, you’re not willing to deploy.
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Give a model a labeled dataset, and it trains for a day. Take its labels away and call it “self-supervised,” and it’ll generate new ones for you to validate tomorrow.
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If you’re manually labeling data, somebody’s done something wrong.
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Training loss and validation loss should be easier to tell apart.
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Any sufficiently advanced algorithm is indistinguishable from a matrix multiplication.
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If your model’s failure is covered by the SLA, you didn’t test enough edge cases.
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“Fire-and-forget training” is fine, provided you never actually forget to monitor the run.
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Don’t be afraid to be the first to try a random seed.
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If the cost of cloud compute is high enough, you might get promoted for shutting down idle instances.
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The enemy of my bias is my variance. No more. No less.
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A little inductive bias goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll scale.
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Only overfitters prosper (temporarily).
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Any model is production-ready if you can containerize it.
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If you’re logging metrics, you’re being audited.
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If you’re seeing NaN, you need a smaller learning rate.
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That which does not break your model has made a suboptimal adversarial example.
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When the loss plateaus, the wise call for more data.
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There is no “overkill.” There is only “more tokens” and “CUDA out of memory.”
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What’s trivial in Jupyter can still crash in production.
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There’s a difference between spare GPUs and GPUs you’ve accidentally mined Ethereum on.
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Not all NaN is a bug—sometimes it’s a feature.
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“Do you have a checkpoint?” means “I can’t fix this training run.”
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“They’ll never expect this activation function” means “I want to try something non-differentiable.”
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If it’s a hack and it works, it’s still a hack and you’re lucky.
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If it can parallelize inference, it can double as a space heater.
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The size of the grant is inversely proportional to the reproducibility of the results.
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Don’t try to save money by undersampling.
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Don’t expect the data to cooperate in the creation of your dream benchmark.
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If it ain’t overfit, it hasn’t been trained on enough epochs.
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Every client is one missed deadline away from switching to AutoML, and every AutoML is one custom loss function away from becoming a client.
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If it only works on the training set, it’s defective.
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Let them see you tune the hyperparameters before you abandon the project.
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The framework you’ve got is never the framework you want.
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The data you’ve got is never the data you want.
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It’s only too many layers if you can’t fit them in VRAM.
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It’s only too much compute if the power grid collapses.
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Data engineers exist to format tables for people with real GPUs.
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Reinforcement learning exists to burn through compute budgets on simulated environments.
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The whiteboard is mightiest when it sketches architectures for more transformers.
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“Two baselines is probably not going to be enough.”
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A model’s inference time is inversely proportional to the urgency of the demo.
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Don’t bring BERT into a logistic regression.
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Any tensor labeled “output” is dangerous at both ends.
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The CTO knows how to do it by knowing who Googled it.
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An ounce of precision is worth a pound of recall.
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After the merge, be the one with the main branch, not the one with the conflicts.
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Necessity is the mother of synthetic data.
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If you can’t explain it, cite the arXiv paper.
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Deploying with confidence intervals doesn’t mean you shouldn’t also deploy with a kill switch.
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Sometimes SOTA is a function of who had the biggest TPU pod.
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Failure is not an option—it is mandatory. The option is whether to let failure be the last epoch or a learning rate adjustment.